The Security Of Being Insecure

WowCoach(tm)
DeskTopCoaching
October 8, 2001

In this Issue:
1.  Quote of the Week
2.  Embracing The Impermanent
3.  Coaching Tip

Welcome to the weekly edition of DeskTopCoaching. This
newsletter is designed to bring coaching into YOUR life.  Through
thought provoking articles, strong questions, and requests for weekly
action, we will bring a coaching slant to your life.

How do we make changes in our lives?  One step at a time!
Participate in the concepts of the newsletter and watch the shifts
begin to happen.

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Have a wonderful week.

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"The basketball court is still my refuge; even when the season ends,
it's the place that I can go and find answers.  It's like I can go talk
to the game because I know it's going to give me a response.  When I was
a kid and mad at my parents, I'd go out and play the game of
basketball.  I'd try to give myself some confidence at a time when maybe
I thought no one had any confidence in me.  If I had a problem, or if
something was botheing me, I'd go play and somehow I always seemed to
come up with the answer.  That's where I go when I need to go
somewhere."

Michael Jordan
"Rare Air: Michael on Michael"
1993

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EMBRACING THE IMPERMANENT 
     -- The Security of Being Insecure 
by Drew Rozell, Ph.D
drew@evolutioncoaching.com. 

Sadness came a hold of us,
Terrified was I, but good things will come of this,
Good things will blossom out of this,

I know it.
-- Sapier Jamie Behr, Grade 5

In the wake of recent events, I keep hearing how 
things "will never be the same again." I agree. 
However, like Miss Behr, I believe that there's a 
real opportunity for us to experience life on a much 
more meaningful level -- that this day in our history 
can act as a catalyst in filling our lives with more 
peace, joy, and love.

No, we will not feel the same sense of security that 
we've lived under for so long in America. And perhaps 
it would be a good thing if we were to embrace that 
fact.

The truth is that we've never been secure from 
anything. Ever. On an average day, during the time that 
it will take you to read this, about 1030 people will 
have died, 75 of whom were babies. Somewhere on the 
globe, an earthquake will have occurred. 

The sun, you, me - everything is dying a little more 
at this very moment. Initially, those truths are 
unnerving and when reminded of them, our fear of the 
unknown leads us to move toward security-based goals. 
And this striving for security lies at the root of 
much of the pain in our lives. 

For example, too many of us work at jobs that do not 
reflect our true gifts (where money would flow to us) 
because we'd rather not sit with the fear of not 
getting a paycheck every two weeks (those paychecks 
aren't secure either, by the way). 

We stay in relationships that do not make us happy 
because we fear what life would be like if we were 
alone.

We put aside pursuing our dreams -- what we really 
want in our lives -- for "someday." We recalibrate our 
sights, set them lower, aim for something safer. We 
tell ourselves that we'll pursue our true happiness as 
soon as we feel more "secure."

Think about this for a moment. Striving for security 
leads us to operate out of a place of not getting what 
we don't want. Compare that to what do you think would 
happen if you were to operate from the place of 
getting what you really want. Huge distinction.

Why do we strive for security? It's our first reaction 
to our fear. And that fear is born of our resistance 
to changing how we think, what we believe, and 
accepting that we alone are responsible for our own 
greatness. The following is a paradox, I know, but 
the only security we can truly hang our hats on is the 
fact that everything is insecure, impermanent, and 
constantly in flux. 

What does it feel like to embrace the insecure nature 
of our existence? A tad scary, perhaps. But consider 
your wonderful friend, the one whom you really 
disliked upon your initial meeting. Over time, you 
got to know that person and now share a laugh over 
your first impression. Embracing insecurity can be 
thought of in the same way. The thought may not sound 
attractive at first, but as you grow closer to it, 
this feeling will be your strongest ally in living 
your best life. 

When we choose to accept the truth and embrace that 
we that we live in an impermanent world, we release 
ourselves from the bondage of fear. When we orient 
ourselves around this truth, we live life more in 
the present, we experience powerful feelings of love 
and gratitude, and we remove the fear that keep us 
from attracting what we really want in our lives.

Do you have a dream in your heart? Something that 
lights a spark within you? Something that gets you 
juiced just thinking about the possibility of what 
your life would be like if that dream became reality? 
Of course you do.

Now what feelings come up for you around living that 
dream? Playing it safe? Security? I doubt it. In fact, 
can you think of a "secure dream?" An oxymoron, for 
sure. No, our dreams reflect our true selves, the 
potential of the human spirit that operates and 
thrives in spite of the fear of the unknown.

Rather than striving for the security we think will 
protect us from danger, what if we were to identify 
and eliminate the security-based goals that drive our 
need to pursue security in the first place? When we 
free ourselves from fear-based strivings, all we are 
left with is our own, naturally positive inclinations 
and a sense of infinite possibility.

And isn't that worth going for?

The time to trust yourself enough to make the changes 
necessary for you to pursue your dreams and to live 
your greatness is now. For the now is all we truly 
ever have. The now is all we ever need.

I'm telling you, good things can come of this...

I know it.

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Coaching Tip:

Once, while Mahatma Gandhi's train was pulling slowly 
out of the station, a European reporter ran up to his 
window. "Do you have a message I can take back to my 
people?" he asked. It was Gandhi's day of silence, a 
vital respite from his demanding speaking schedule, 
so he didn't answer. Instead, he scrawled a few words 
on a scrap of paper and passed it to the reporter: 
"My life is my message."

What are you showing the world around you?  Is this the message
that you feel is authentic to yourself, or is it time to make changes
that will reflect outward who you truly are on the inside?

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Copyright 2000. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted to reproduce or distribute this newsletter as
long as this copyright notice and full information about
contacting the  author is attached. This newsletter is
produced by Dr. Janice Hughes B.Sc., M.Sc., D.C.

Dr. Janice Hughes is a Chiropractor who focuses on
health and wellness. She runs a private practice,
Whole Body Health, in Brantford, Ontario. She has created
an integrative health model which provides a group of
professionals partnering to provide lifestyle coaching
and education. Dr. Hughes is also a Coach who works
with individuals, teams or organizations who are
committed to getting ahead, changing direction or
simply growing.

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